6.30.2010

CRYING IN THE RAIN.

Written on June 15, 2010.

Last night, I drove home from Evanston, through a lightening storm and pouring rain...and cried.

There was this song playing...can't remember what it was right now, but as I listened to it, I thought of him and how he is probably leaving for this epic South American adventure next year and that he'll be gone a long long time...and, even worse, that he and I may never be anything more than what we are right now...which, in all truth, ain't much at all.

Then I started to think about what someone asked me a few weeks ago...about how I will feel when the day comes that I get a phone call from him, or hear through the grapevine, that he's getting married.

This rush, of overwhelming feelings, came over my body...starting in my eyes and creeping it's way through every inch of me.

I started to shiver and ache. I felt my face swell. I blinked. Three tears dripped from my eyes, crept their way down my cheeks on to my lips, and then trickled down to where my lips meet. I opened my mouth and licked my lips, tasting the salt of my tears.

I felt  nauseous as my mind raced at the thought of living the rest of my life without him.

Mannn, am I am fooling myself. I tell people I'm ok with the way things are between us; the "I love him, but we aren't together because it's better that way" nature of our relationship.

What a lie! ...a big, fat, looming over me daily, fucking lie. We aren't together because he doesn't want to be with me.

I can pretend that I don't really feel the way that I do, but what's the point, at this point?

Deny, deny, deny...I can, and do, try.

But, he and I both know the truth...I love him and I want to be with him; now, next month and next year.

And that scares the fucking shit out of me...so I can only imagine how it must make him feel.

A CASPER KINDA LOVE.

I'm in love with a ghost
Who comes around once a month, at most
But always present in my dreams
A reality, those dreams have begun to seem


NO ESCAPIN'.

She said, 
I keep on runnin
Keep on runnin 
And nothing works
I can't get away from you - nooo
I keep on duckin
Keep on duckin
And nothing helps
I can't stop missin you

It's like I'm her new nightmare
She ain't escapin
It makes me feel a bit complete
Feel a bit complete - yehhh
Knowing someone you love
Don't feel the same about ya
Memories...
They soon delete - hmmm


Mannn...Cudi and Yeezy took the words right outta my mouth.

6.29.2010

WEEEEIRD.

Soooo many summer engagement and wedding photos are popping up in my FB feed. Eeeeks! Seems as if everyone is settling down, or just settling - either way, it's making me feel weird...not bad, not good, just weird.

6.28.2010

JAGGER.

The UK flaunts their very own British fashion icon of the moment, Georgia May Jagger on the cover of Vogue’s UK, November 2009 issue. Daughter of Mick Jagger, Georgia lives up to her own and is making an impression to the world of fashion. Being the face model for companies like Calvin Klien and Hudson Jeans and the “pretty face” of Vogue, will just be her start! The spread shot by Mario Testing tests her courage with bold red lipstick, golden locks and daring outfits.








GLAM ROCK.

"Glam Rock" is one of my fave kinds of steez. Hana Soukupova takes on the persona of a rock’n roll goddess in her spread for Vogue Mexico in its' November 2009 issue.





BADASS BIA SWIMWEAR.

Tavik’s Summer 2010 swimwear line channels all things rock and roll. Riding on the current 80’s trends, the designers found inspiration from the great hairbands of the era, most notably the big three: Poison, Motley Crue and Guns N’ Roses. Think bright neon solids and faux-faded denim topped off with some teased hair and you’re ready to go for next summer.


FESTIVAL BIA.

Photobucket

CHANNELING SUMMER STEEZ.




6.22.2010

TRAV & CHEEV ARE DOIN IT FOR REALS YA'LL.



I gotta show these boys, who I grew up with in the lovely town of Evanston, IL, some L.O.V.E.

6.21.2010

FOR BIA BIA: BAD KITTY TANK : )





CIAO HOODY by Rebel Yell.

Rebel Yell-The Ciao Pullover Hoody Rebel Yell-The Ciao Pullover Hoody Rebel Yell-The Ciao Pullover Hoody Rebel Yell-The Ciao Pullover Hoody Rebel Yell-The Ciao Pullover Hoody

EAGLE BF CROP TEE by Rebel Yell

Rebel Yell-The Eagle Boyfriend Crop TeeRebel Yell-The Eagle Boyfriend Crop TeeRebel Yell-The Eagle Boyfriend Crop TeeRebel Yell-The Eagle Boyfriend Crop Tee

BE SOMETHING.

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl

I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style
I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly

'Cause it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars
Actually, I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break

I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

All I know

Is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
I wish that we could see
If we could be something 

 
- NICEST THING by Kate Nash 


* This post was inspired by my bia DMB. Check out her blog. TOTALLY worth perusing and subscribing to.

UNLIKE ANY OTHER.

There's something natural in the way you touch me
It's a feeling that I can't describe
Something mystic in that soul connection
Something magic in your misty eyes

Don't you say that it's all the same

Don't you say that it's all the same, no
Cuz there's something that I can't explain...'bout this
Something that I can't explain, yeah yeah

I can't explain

Oh no ooh
Hey, yeah

Before the night is over

I wanna shake the question
I wanna leave it for now
Without another mention
We should be letting go
Instead of holding on
But in the eye in my mind
The mystery is born

No use in looking further

You know it isn't there
And you can stare all you want
The answers won't appear
Try to find it but i lose myself


I lose myself in you
I said, i lose myself in you
Yes, i lose myself in you
Yeah, i lose myself in you

Breathe easy lovers

Breathe easy lovers
Breathe easy lovers
Breathe easy lovers
Breathe easy

I know you're only wasting time
Breathe easy
Questioning between the lines

Breathe easy
Feeling knows no name
It is, what it is, and there's no explaining
What it is, what it is, yeah yeah-eah
There´s something natural in the way you touch me
It's a feeling that i can't describe
Something mystic in that soul connection
Something magic in your misty eyes

Don't you say that it's all the same

Don't you say that it's all the same, no

Cuz there's something that i can't explain, 'bout this
Something that i can't explain, yeah yeah


- FLASHBACK by Fat Freddy's Drop

HOLDING ON.

Add to the memory you keep.
Remember when you fall asleep. 
Hold to the love that you know. 
You don't have to give up to let go.

6.16.2010

6.12.2010

POUND IT.













Now this is what I call a partnership. LOVE.

WAIFLAND.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj90Ay3Et_jcx5yyHLCiJDWVQInqYRexDUDhyphenhyphenp23y8sYjQv0IB3mACTFujYfkH9pQxVMnZ2GwCS3ec7eHuoVahZp4vT7qtlh6hAqC1hVLtbAhM-VnqFx9LvPZs4Snoc9wxapta2zQ/s1600/Picture+13.png

BRIT ESQUIRE PEEP SHOW.



Daisy Lowe is the cover girl for Esquire UK’s July issue. For the entirety of this sweet lil' vid that Esquire shot, Daisy is scantily clothed, dancing and doing a made-for-TV strip tease to the catchy tune Tiger by Maximum Balloon. Check it out...and while you do, I'll be dancing around in my underwear to this song.

BEST PS TUTORIALS.

http://bestphotoshoptutorials.net/

INSOMNIAMANIA.

(Meant to post last weekend)

As you can tell by the number of times I have posted tonight...I can't sleep. There is more than one person to blame for this.

6.09.2010

"HI," HE SAYS.

...at 3:30 am.
From his iPhone.
Probably wasted.

He likes me when he's wasted...
because the next day i'm as forgettable...
as the booze he drank and spliffs he smoked.

He makes me crazy.

He makes my...
heart race,
temperature rise,
stomach turn,
knees weak,
lips tremble,
mouth go dry,
mind fantasize,
body ache.

What a tease...
he'll never actually please
my needs.

He just likes the attention,
and the fact that i'm always waiting,
and wanting...
to be by his side.